Living with a partner who is often unhappy, critical and negative isn't easy, and at the same time, it may also be hard to convince them to get help. If you notice your spouse feeling mentally down and out, here are tips that could come handy.
The secret to a happy marriage really is to marry someone happy. No one is born depressed, but life has a way of happening to you -situations bog us down and the mind has its own way of dealing with it (not always discerningly). When one's spouse is going through a low phase or is diagnosed as clinically depressed, it can put a strain on a marriage. Depression varies tremendously in severity, but it has many behavioural impacts that can profoundly affect all significant relationships. Living with a partner who is often unhappy, critical and negative isn't easy, and at the same time, it may also be hard to convince them to get help.
The shifts in brain chemistry that influence mood, thoughts, sex drive, sleep, appetite and energy levels -are all factors that could affect a marriage.
If you notice your spouse feeling mentally down and out, here are tips that could come handy.
Tackle it together: It's okay, if they're not feeling as bright as the sun rays. It's okay that he/she isn't as excited about your new job, as you are. Don't get mad. Understand, the prob lem is the illness, and not the spouse with depression. If you let this affect you, you'll allow the depression to drive the marriage apart. Actively work together to help your spouse get better, whether it's taking a daily walk together, providing a ride to the doctor's or ensuring that medication is taken on time.
Don't get upset: Dealing with a partner's depression can provoke anger and resentment, especially if one spouse is always making excuses for their better-half's absence at social events, or if some household responsibilities might need to shift. Besides, when a spouse acts withdrawn and unaffectionate, the couple's level of intimacy suffers. Be calm as a saint. Understand it's an episodic illness. When a spouse has depression, that person goes through bad periods and good ones. You may have work to do as a couple to improve your relationship, but this should be done at a separate time, when your spouse is feeling better. Meanwhile, the non-depressed spouse might need to turn to a trusted friend or therapist for emotional support when feeling overwhelmed or aggravated.
Reach out for help: Besides, there is a sense of shame attached to having a mental health disorder, which can prevent a depressed spouse from seeking help for a treatable illness. Thus, compounding the problem. In that case, be calm and politely explain to him/her why it is necessary to seek help. The illness might prevent a depressed person from recognising they need help or seeking it out, so it's often the non depressed spouse who will express concern and suggest an action plan. f Tell them, 'I love you but I hate watching you suffer'. Depression is a common problem and you shouldn't be ashamed of suffering from it, so let's find out more about this illness together. It's incredibly helpful to see a depressed patient along with their significant other, because the spouse is often a wealth of information and observation. A non-depressed spouse may be the first to notice behaviour changes in a loved one and these insights are valuable during treatment.
Be patient with meds: There is no instant cure to depression. A certain trial and error in treatment is to be expected. However, over time, the doctors can help people with depression function better with a combination of medication and therapy. With time and treatment, depression can be cured.
Be open: If someone is in depression, you might hear things that could freak you out. For example, a depressed spouse might question their love for their partner or interest in staying together. Therefore, it is very important to encourage a depressed spouse to talk about the way he or she is feeling, thinking or acting, and listen without passing judgment.
Let the kids know: Depression affects not only a marriage, but it also impacts the entire family. Kids often sense when something is wrong. In a sensitive manner, talk about the illness with kids so they don't feel afraid or worried. Some depressed parents say that feeling an obligation to their children, like dropping them to school every morning, helps them to function better. Keep the depressed spouse occupied with day-to-day happenings, so that they don't feel neglected in family matters.
The secret to a happy marriage really is to marry someone happy. No one is born depressed, but life has a way of happening to you -situations bog us down and the mind has its own way of dealing with it (not always discerningly). When one's spouse is going through a low phase or is diagnosed as clinically depressed, it can put a strain on a marriage. Depression varies tremendously in severity, but it has many behavioural impacts that can profoundly affect all significant relationships. Living with a partner who is often unhappy, critical and negative isn't easy, and at the same time, it may also be hard to convince them to get help.
The shifts in brain chemistry that influence mood, thoughts, sex drive, sleep, appetite and energy levels -are all factors that could affect a marriage.
If you notice your spouse feeling mentally down and out, here are tips that could come handy.
Tackle it together: It's okay, if they're not feeling as bright as the sun rays. It's okay that he/she isn't as excited about your new job, as you are. Don't get mad. Understand, the prob lem is the illness, and not the spouse with depression. If you let this affect you, you'll allow the depression to drive the marriage apart. Actively work together to help your spouse get better, whether it's taking a daily walk together, providing a ride to the doctor's or ensuring that medication is taken on time.
Don't get upset: Dealing with a partner's depression can provoke anger and resentment, especially if one spouse is always making excuses for their better-half's absence at social events, or if some household responsibilities might need to shift. Besides, when a spouse acts withdrawn and unaffectionate, the couple's level of intimacy suffers. Be calm as a saint. Understand it's an episodic illness. When a spouse has depression, that person goes through bad periods and good ones. You may have work to do as a couple to improve your relationship, but this should be done at a separate time, when your spouse is feeling better. Meanwhile, the non-depressed spouse might need to turn to a trusted friend or therapist for emotional support when feeling overwhelmed or aggravated.
Reach out for help: Besides, there is a sense of shame attached to having a mental health disorder, which can prevent a depressed spouse from seeking help for a treatable illness. Thus, compounding the problem. In that case, be calm and politely explain to him/her why it is necessary to seek help. The illness might prevent a depressed person from recognising they need help or seeking it out, so it's often the non depressed spouse who will express concern and suggest an action plan. f Tell them, 'I love you but I hate watching you suffer'. Depression is a common problem and you shouldn't be ashamed of suffering from it, so let's find out more about this illness together. It's incredibly helpful to see a depressed patient along with their significant other, because the spouse is often a wealth of information and observation. A non-depressed spouse may be the first to notice behaviour changes in a loved one and these insights are valuable during treatment.
Be patient with meds: There is no instant cure to depression. A certain trial and error in treatment is to be expected. However, over time, the doctors can help people with depression function better with a combination of medication and therapy. With time and treatment, depression can be cured.
Be open: If someone is in depression, you might hear things that could freak you out. For example, a depressed spouse might question their love for their partner or interest in staying together. Therefore, it is very important to encourage a depressed spouse to talk about the way he or she is feeling, thinking or acting, and listen without passing judgment.
Let the kids know: Depression affects not only a marriage, but it also impacts the entire family. Kids often sense when something is wrong. In a sensitive manner, talk about the illness with kids so they don't feel afraid or worried. Some depressed parents say that feeling an obligation to their children, like dropping them to school every morning, helps them to function better. Keep the depressed spouse occupied with day-to-day happenings, so that they don't feel neglected in family matters.
No comments :
Post a Comment